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Posts archive for: May, 2009
  • NICE STORIES

    STORY 1 - The Frogs


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    A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs ---millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy! "So the
    restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks. The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant
    looking rather sheepish,with two scrawny little frogs. the restaurant
    owner said,"Well...where are all the frogs?" The farmer said, "I was mistaken.There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!"

    [Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you,remember,it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning
    comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]***

    STORY 2 - The Turtles


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    A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. Turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place for outing.

    During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last! For about six months they cleaned up the area,unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered
    they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned.

    The family consented and the little turtle left. Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years...then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not
    going to go get the salt."

    *[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.]*

    STORY 3 - The Pretty Lady


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    Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were travelling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. "How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females," thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk
    carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.

    All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

    Finally, at rest-point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty. All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite." The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"

    *[This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt,sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "pretty lady" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us,make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the "pretty lady". We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over. It's just that simple.]*

  • Just To Make You Laugh! (05-19-09)


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    Bank Robbery

    A man walks into a Bank, gets in line, and when it was his turn he pulls out a gun ..... and robs the Bank!...

    But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line:

    "Did you see me rob this Bank?" The customer replies ....."YES"

    The bank robber raises his gun POINTS IT TO THE CUSTOMER HEAD and BANG!!!!...

    SHOOTS THE CUSTOMER IN THE HEAD AND KILLS HIM!

    The bank robber quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the woman: "DID YOU SEE ME ROB THIS BANK????"

    The woman calmly responds . "No ... but MY HUSBAND DID!"

  • Just To Make You Laugh! (05-16-09)


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    Monkeys For Sale!

    Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

    The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

    The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

    He next announced that he would now buymonkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

    Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

    The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

    The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

    In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.

    The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

    Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market operates and how man's ingenuity works when it comes to making money.

  • Just To Make You Laugh! (05-07-09)

    What Women Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
    1. Handsome
    2. Charming
    3. Financially Successful
    4. A Caring Listener
    5. Witty
    6. In Good Shape
    7. Dresses with Style
    8. Appreciates the Finer Things
    9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
    10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover

    ***

    What Women Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 32)
    1. Nice Looking - preferably with hair on his head
    2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
    3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant
    4.. Listens more than he talks
    5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
    6. Can carry in all the groceries with ease
    7. Owns at least one tie
    8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
    9. Remembers Birthdays and Anniversaries
    10. Seeks romance at least once a week
    ***
    What Women Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 42)
    1. Not too ugly - bald head OK
    2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
    3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
    4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
    5. Usually remembers the punch lines of jokes
    6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
    7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
    8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
    9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
    10. Shaves on most weekends

    ***
    What Women Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 52)
    1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
    2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
    3. Doesn't borrow money too often
    4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm emoting
    5. Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times
    6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
    7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
    8. Appreciates a good TV Dinner
    9.. Remembers your name on occasion
    10. Shaves on some weekends
    ***
    What Women Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 62)
    1. Doesn't scare small children
    2. Remembers where bathroom is
    3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
    4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
    5. Doesn't forget why he's laughing
    6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
    7. Usually wears some clothes
    8. Likes soft foods
    9. Remembers where he left his teeth
    10. Remembers when...

    **
    What Women Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 72)
    1. Breathing

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