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Posts archive for: 1 September, 2006
  • CORPORATE LESSONS


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    CORPORATE LESSON #1:

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
    Finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few
    Seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the
    Doorbell,

    The wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel
    And runs

    Downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
    The next door
    Neighbor.

    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800
    Just to

    Drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for
    A moment,

    The woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of
    Bob.

    Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands
    Over $800 and
    Quietly leaves.

    Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the
    Woman wraps

    Back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets
    Back to

    The bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who
    Was that?"

    "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

    "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about
    The $800
    He owes me?"

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    MORAL OF THE STORY:

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    Share critical credit infrmation with your
    Stakeholders to
    Prevent
    Avoidable exposure!

    ** * * * ***
    ____________ _________ _________ _

    CORPORATE LESSON # 2

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
    Of the road,

    He stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly
    Accepted. She

    Got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open
    And reveal a lovely
    Leg.

    The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
    After controlling

    The car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
    Nun looked at

    Him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm
    129?"

    The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.

    He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was
    Unable to
    Remove his eyes from her leg.

    Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide
    Up her
    Leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember
    Psalm
    129?"

    Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but
    The mind is weak."

    Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a
    Meaningful
    Glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the
    Church, the
    Priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm
    129.

    It Said,"Go forth and seek; further up, you will find
    Glory."

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    MORAL OF THE STORY:
    ____________ _________ _________ _

    Always be well informed in your job; or, you might
    Miss great Opportunities!

    ** * * * ***
    ____________ _________ _________ _

    CORPORATE LESSON # 3

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
    American and a
    French, who found this small genie bottle. When they
    Rubbed the
    Bottle, a genie appears.

    Thankful that the 4 guys had
    Released him
    Out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4
    Swimming pools,

    I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards
    The pool and
    Jump, you shout What you want the pool of water to
    Become, then
    Your wish will come true."

    The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool,
    Jumped and
    Shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a
    Pool of wine.

    The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from
    The pool.

    Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and
    Shouted, "VODKA"
    And immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

    The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
    He was so
    Contented with his beer pool.

    The last is the American. He was running towards the
    Pool when
    Suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards
    The pool
    And shouted, "SH** !!!!!!!..... ...."

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    MORAL OF THE STORY:

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    Mind your language, you never Know what it will land
    You in.

    ** * * * ***

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    CORPORATE LESSON # 4

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when
    He found
    The CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece
    Of paper
    In his hand.

    "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
    Important

    Document and my secretary has left. Can you make this
    Thing
    Work?"

    "Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned
    The machine
    On, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

    "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
    Disappeared inside
    The machine."I just need one copy."

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    MORAL OF THE STORY:

    ____________ _________ _________ _

    Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

  • POPEYE'S MOM?


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    HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN WHO CLAIMS TO BE POPEYE'S MOM?

    Please scroll down...

    more.....

    more.....

    more.....

    more.....

    more.....


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  • Please Don't Ruin My Future!!!

    Ooopppsss....please spare my future!


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  • ECHO OF LIFE


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    A son and his father were walking on the mountains.

    Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: " AAAhhhhhhhhhhh! !!"

    To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:
    " AAAhhhhhhhhhhh! !!"

    Curious, he yells: " Who are you?"
    He receives the answer: " Who are you?"

    Angered at the response, he screams: " Coward!"
    He receives the answer: " Coward!"

    He looks to his father and asks: " What's going on?"
    The father smiles and says: " My son, pay attention."

    And then he screams to the mountain: " I admire you!"
    The voice answers: " I admire you!"

    Again the man screams: " You are a champion!"
    The voice answers: " You are a champion!"

    The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
    Then the father explains: " People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.

    It gives you back everything you say or do.
    Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.

    If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.
    If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

    This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life ;
    Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

    YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!

  • EXTREME REACTIONS (Part 2)

    EXTREME REACTION OF PEOPLE WHEN THEIR BELOVED COMPUTER DOESNT WORK PROPERLY.... .:))


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  • F A M I L Y


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    F A M I L Y

    I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
    "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

    He said, "Please excuse me too;
    I wasn't watching for you."

    We were very polite, this stranger and I.
    We went on our way and we said goodbye.

    But at home a different story is told,
    How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

    Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
    My son stood beside me very still.

    When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
    "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

    He walked away, his little heart broken.
    I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

    While I lay awake in bed,
    God's still small voice came to me and said,

    "While dealing with a stranger,
    common courtesy you use,
    but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

    Go and look on the kitchen floor,
    You'll find some flowers there by the door.

    Those are the flowers he brought for you.
    He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

    He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
    you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

    By this time, I felt very small,
    And now my tears began to fall.

    I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
    "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

    "Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
    He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

    I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
    I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

    I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
    I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
    He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
    I love you anyway."

    I said, "Son, I love you too,
    and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

    FAMILY
    Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
    that we are working for could easily replace us in
    a matter of days.
    But the family we left behind will feel the loss
    for the rest of their lives.

    And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
    into work than into our own family,
    an unwise investment indeed,
    don't you think?
    So what is behind the story?

    Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
    FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

  • Saint of the Day (September 1)


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    SEPTEMBER 1
    ST. GILES

    Giles was born in Athens, Greece, in early times. When his parents died, he used the large fortune they left him to help the poor. For this reason and especially because he worked many miracles, Giles found himself a greatly admired young man. He did not want this praise and fame at all. So, to be able to serve God in a hidden life, he left Greece and sailed to France.

    There he went to live alone in a dark forest. He made his home in a rough cave behind a thick thorn bush. Giles lived there contented, safe from the danger of becoming conceited at hearing himself praised. But one day, a certain king and his men went hunting the forest. They chased the deer that often came to Giles' cave. The deer lost them by going into Giles' cave, which was hidden behind the large thorn bush. One of the men shot an arrow into the thorn bush, hoping to hit the deer. When they forced their way in, they discovered Giles sitting wounded by the arrow.

    "Who are you and what are you doing here?" demanded the king. St. Giles told them the story of his life. When they heard it, they asked his forgiveness. The king sent his doctors to take care of the saint's wound. Although Giles begged to be left alone, the king felt such respect for him that he came often to see him. Giles never would accept the king's gifts. Finally, however, he agreed to let the king build a large monastery there. Giles became its first abbot.

    This monastery became so famous that a whole town grew up there. When the saint died, his grave at the monastery became a great shrine where many people came on pilgrimage.

  • Gospel of the Day (September 1)


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    Daily Reading & Meditation

    Friday (9/1): The foolish will miss heaven’s wedding feast

    Scripture: Matthew 25:1-13

    1 "Then the kingdom of heaven shall be compared to ten maidens who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; 4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. 5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, `Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' 7 Then all those maidens rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, `Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' 9 But the wise replied, `Perhaps there will not be enough for us and for you; go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.' 10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast; and the door was shut. 11 Afterward the other maidens came also, saying, `Lord, lord, open to us.' 12 But he replied, `Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.' 13 Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.

    Meditation: Are you missing out on what's most important in life? Being unprepared can lead to a lot of unnecessary trouble and even disastrous consequences! What good is a life-jacket left on shore when the boat is sinking? Jesus’ story of ten silly girls seems strange to westerners today. But his audience knew all too well how easily this could happen to them. Wedding customs in ancient Palestine required extra vigilance and preparation for everyone involved. (Some near eastern villages still follow this custom.) The bride and groom did not go away for their honeymoon, but celebrated for a whole week with their family and friends. It was the custom for the groom to come at his discretion and get his bride and bring her to the wedding party. If he came at night lamps were required by necessity. To show up for a night party without a wedding garment and a lamp is like showing up for a play or movie that requires a reservation and a ticket. You just don’t get in without the proper pass. Can you imagine the frustration one experiences in traveling abroad and finding out you can’t get into some country because you don’t have a valid passport or visa.

    Jesus warns us that there are consequences for being unprepared. There are certain things you cannot obtain at the last moment. For example, a student cannot prepare for his exam when the day of testing is upon him. A person cannot get the right kind of character or skill required for a task at hand unless he already possesses it. Our eternal welfare depends on our hearing, and many have trained themselves to not hear. We will not be prepared to meet the Lord, face to face, when he calls us on the day of judgment, unless we listen to him today. The Lord invites us to feast at his banquet table.

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