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The Easter Rabbit

A man was driving along the highway, and saw the Easter rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the Easter rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place, candy too. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry.

A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible!" he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter rabbit and killed it. Kids will be so disappointed. What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the dead, limp rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the furry animal.Miraculously the Easter rabbit came to life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. Fifty yards away the Easter rabbit stopped turned around, waved and hopped down the road. Another 50 yards down, he turned, waved and hopped another 50 yards. And waved again !

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can!!
He ran over to the woman and asked, "What is in your spray can? What did you spray on the Easter rabbit?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:

"Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

The Hanging

The man who was about to die said to the Sheriff,

"Say, do I really have to die swinging from a tree?"

"Course not," replied the Sheriff. "We just put the rope round your neck and kick the horse away. After that it's up to you."

Last Request

A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.

"Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain.

"Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"

JULY 4
ST. ELIZABETH OF PORTUGAL

Elizabeth, a Spanish princess, was born in 1271. She married King Denis of Portugal at the age of twelve. Elizabeth was beautiful and very lovable. She was also devout and went to Mass every day. Elizabeth was a charming wife. Her husband was fond of her at first, but soon he began to cause her great suffering. Though a good ruler, he did not have his wife's love of prayer and virtue. In fact, his sins of impurity were well-known scandals throughout his kingdom.

St. Elizabeth tried to be a loving mother to her children, Alphonso and Constance. She was also generous and loving with the people of Portugal. Even though her husband was unfaithful, she prayed that he would have a change of heart. Elizabeth refused to become bitter and resentful. She strengthened her own prayer life and followed the Franciscan spirituality. Gradually, the king was moved by her patience and good example. He began to live better. He apologized to his wife and showed her greater respect. In his last sickness the queen never left his side, except for Mass. King Denis died on January 6, 1325. He had shown deep sorrow for his sins and his death was peaceful.

Eiizabeth lived eleven more years. She performed loving acts of charity and penance. She was a wonderful model of kindness toward the poor. This gentle woman was also a peacemaker between members of her own family and between nations.

St. Elizabeth of Portugal died on July 4, 1336. She was proclaimed a saint by Pope Urban VIII in 1626.

Daily Reading & Meditation

Tuesday (7/4): "Why are you afraid, O men of little faith?"

Scripture: Matthew 8:23-27

23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24 And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. 25 And they went and woke him, saying, "Save, Lord; we are perishing." 26 And he said to them, "Why are you afraid, O men of little faith?" Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. 27 And the men marveled, saying, "What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?"

Meditation: What is stronger than fear, even the fear of death? Scripture gives an answer: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). The Wisdom of Solomon tells us that “love is stronger than death” (Song of Songs 8:6). Jesus' sleeping presence on the storm-tossed sea reveals the sleeping faith of his disciples. They feared for their lives even though their Lord and Master was with them in the boat. They were asleep to Christ while he was present to them in their hour of need. The Lord is ever present to us. And in our time of testing he asks the same question: Why are you afraid? Have you no faith? Do you recognize the Lord’s presence with you, especially when you meet the storms of adversity, sorrow, or temptation? Whenever we encounter trouble, the Lord is there with the same reassuring message: “It is I, do not be afraid”.

"Lord, may I always recognize your abiding presence with me. And in times of trouble or fear may I find courage and strength to respond as you would. Help me to rely upon you in all circumstances and to trust in your help both in adversity and in temptation".

No Such Thing As A Free Ride

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer, who had never been on an airplane, was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much a ride would cost.

"$20 for 3 minutes." the pilot replied.
"That's too much." said the farmer.

The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make any sound at all, you'll have to pay me the $20."

The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a thrilling ride.

After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said the farmer, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

The Volunteers

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around.
After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"

As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, the president of the company offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. To everyone's amazement the little fire engine raced through the Chemical plant gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before.

After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. Joyous, the chemical company president announced that he would double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers. After thanking each of the old men individually, the president asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money.

The fire truck driver looked him right in the eye and said, "The first thing we're going to do is fix the dang brakes on that truck!"

The Dying Man, His Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman

A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelop containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.

A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelop in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell.

By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelop he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America.

He asked for their forgiveness. The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergyman's sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said, he too could not bring himself to waste the money so frivolously when it could be used to benefit others.

By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. I am the only one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelop I placed in the coffin contained the full amount.

Indeed, my envelope contained my personal check for the entire $25,000.

The Train Engineer

In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver of the car took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.

"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."

"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."

"How's that?" the lawyer asked.

"I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!"

The Moral of the Story...

Once upon a time, their lived in a magical land a snake, named Nate. In this land, actually rather close to Nate's house there was a great road, and next to this road was a lever. The lever was ancient, and the mythology around the lever was that if you were to push it, it would trigger the end of the world.

One day, Nate was slithering down the road, and he came upon the lever, and began crossing the road so he could look at it. At the same moment, a truck came careening around a corner, and the driver found himself in a dilemma: either hit the snake or end the world. Needless to say, the driver ran over Nate and went on his merry way.Moral of the Story: The moral of the story is: Better Nate than Lever

Southern Leyte - The Centuries-old Charmer

Brief Description
Filipinos stake a large claim on hospitality, just sort of making it a national treasure, and the Leyteños from the small province of Southern Leyte are no different. There is a warmth that begins with the lilt and caress of welcoming voices. Most of the locals, you see, speak Cebuano, a dialect that seems naturally nurturing.

Even the land is naturally welcoming, as evidenced by the lights that beckon from homes that hug the coast and the waving fronds of coconut palms.

Southern Leyte may be reached by land via the Pan Philippine Highway or, as most prefer, by sea. Either way, one finds oneself in Maasin, the provincial capital. Maasin is hardly your idea of a bustling town; it has maintained a pace that is welcome after the hurly-burly of city life. It is also blessedly situated between sea and forest. The former provides virtually untouched beaches waiting to be discovered, and the latter, virgin growth still unexplored.

Geography
Southern Leyte is bounded on the north by the province of Leyte, on the east by the Pacific Ocean, on the west by the Camotes Sea, and on the south by Sogod Bay. Its total land area is 1,734.8 sq. kilometers.

The province is characterized by relatively flat lands along the coastal areas where population centers lay, but rugged and mountainous towards the interior. It has numerous small rivers in addition to at least 11 major rivers.

Political Subdivision
The province consists of 19 towns. Capital is Maasin.

Climate
Generally, the province has no dry season with rainfall more or less evenly distributed throughout the year. It has a pronounced maximum rainfall occurring from July to December.

Population
As of the 1995 census, the provincial population was 3,366,917.

Language / Dialect
Cebuano is the major dialect spoken.

Western Samar - Splendor Between Mountain And Sea

Brief Description
The province of Samar, occupying the southwestern part of Samar Island, is a rugged land with bountiful waters on the west and low mountain ranges on the east. Caught between mountain and sea, Samar is no stranger to rain, which it experiences in varying degrees for the most part of the year.

Samar is blessed with a lush rainforest harboring tropical flora and fauna, crossed by multiple navigable rivers, pocked by mysterious caverns and refreshing waterfalls. A tourist wanting something out of the ordinary may experience all these wonders of nature and still only be a few hours from civilization.

The favored route to this part of the island is through the 2.16 kilometer long San Juanico Bridge from Leyte Island following a plane trip via Manila-Tacloban. From the south or west, Calbayog City and its capital town of Catbalogan are accessible both by plane and sea, with the Pan Philippine Highway connecting the coastal towns.

Geography
The province occupies a total land area of 1,342,863 hectares. It is bounded on the north by Northern Samar, on the east by Eastern Samar, on the west by the Samar Sea, and on the south by the Leyte Gulf.

The physical environment of Samar includes almost every kind of topography: mountains, forests, rivers, lakes, plains, coasts, and islands. It has a much lower highland system compared to other provinces. The central upland core is formed from a broad plateau with local relief sight ranging from 700 to 1,000 feet. Numerous streams in the island have cut sharp valleys on the surface of this plateau and the overall landscape is hilly and rugged.

Political Subdivision
Samar is composed of 25 towns and one city, Calbayog. Capital is Catbalogan.

Climate
The province has no distinct dry and wet season. Rainfall is more or less evenly distributed throughout the year. April to July are the best months to visit, when the climate is ideal for trips to the beach and for treks inland.

Population
As of the 1990 census, the total provincial population was 533,733.

Language / Dialect
Waray-waray and Cebuano are the major dialects spoken.

Northern Samar - A Journey Back In Time

Brief Description
Northern Samar may be reached over land via the Pan Philippine Highway, which connects the key cities of the Samar provinces. Most of the towns are situated along the northern coasts facing the San Bernardino Strait.

Another point of entry into Northern Samar is through the north-western town of Allen. It is possible to take the ferry from Matnog off Sorsogon (the southernmost province of the Bicol Region) to this town, which is connected to Catarman by the winding highway along the coast.

Travelers will find Allen a convenient take-off rest-point to explore nearby attractions, most of which are reached only after a considerable journey.

Then for a return to the 16th century, a visit to Capul Island is a must. The island can be reached by a two-hour motorboat trip from Allen. Only missionary fervor could have made building a church on this island possible. Capul also features a stark watch tower in its landscape, a further reminder of the loneliness of this islet.

Geography
Northern Samar is bounded on the north by the San Bernardino Stait, on the east by the Pacific Ocean, on the west by the Samar Sea, and on the south by Western Samar. Its total land area is 3,498 sq. kilometers.

The province is composed largely of low and extremely rugged hills and small lowland areas. It also has small and discontinuous areas along the coasts and its rivers are usually accompanied by alluvial plains and valleys. The province is endowed with relatively rich and fertile soil that most crops can grow on it.

Political Subdivision
The province consists of 24 towns. Capital is Catarman.

Climate
The province has no distinct dry or wet season but has a pronounced rainfall period from October to January. The heaviest precipitation occurs in November. May is relatively the driest month.

Population
As of the 1995 census, the provincial population was 454,195.

Language / Dialect
Waray-waray is the major dialect spoken in the province, along with Inabaknon, predominantly spoken in Capul Island.

Leyte - Land Of History

Brief Description
Leyte is among the country’s most historic provinces, proud of its rich and significant past. It was the site not only of a major uprising against the Spaniards but also of the famous landing of US forces during World War II, marking its place in history as the point of entry for the American forces of liberation.

This historical consciousness is reflected on Leyte’s provincial seal. The stars symbolize the 49 towns of the province. The alphabet on the cross indicates its second phase of development, when Magellan passed through the province en route to Cebu. And the upper portion commemorates the landing of General Douglas MacArthur, through a perspective of the National Freedom Park.

Leyte is traversed by many low mountain ranges just like the Samar and Visayan islands. From the northwestern section to the southeastern extremities extends a very rugged, almost impassable ridge. There are also many extinct volcanoes, the most important of which is Mahagnao.

Its capital city, Tacloban, is the most important seaport on the eastern coast while Ormoc City is the primary outlet on the western coast.

Geography
Comprising a total land area of 5,712.8 sq. km., Leyte is bounded on the north by Carigara Bay, on the east by the San Juanico Strait and Leyte Gulf, on the west by the Visayan Sea and Ormoc Sea, and on the south by Southern Leyte.

The terrain of the province is relatively flat to gently rolling and becoming mountainous and rough towards the center where a mountain range begins.

Political Subdivision
The province is composed of 49 towns and two cities, namely, Tacloban, the capital city, and Ormoc.

Climate
Heavy rains occur between November and February while March to April and August to September are the driest months.

Population
As of 1995 census, the provincial population is 1,511,251.

Language / Dialect
Waray-waray and Cebuano are the major dialects spoken.

Eastern Samar - Gateway To Philippine Discovery

Brief Description
Eastern Samar had been a significant backdrop of the country’s rich colonial history through the island of Homonhon, where Ferdinand Magellan first set foot on Philippine soil in 1521 on his way to conquer the Philippines for the western world. Its tiny island of Suluan Guiuan was likewise where the U.S. Army rangers had their first encounter of the Philippine territory in 1944, three days before General Douglas MacArthur made his historic landing in Leyte.

In his account, Pigafetta, the chronicler aboard Magellan’s ship, describes the island of Humumu, now Homonhon, as so: “We found two fountains of very clear water, we called it the `Waters of Good Signs,’ having found the first sign of gold in the said island. There also can be found much white coral and tall trees that bear fruits smaller than an almond and look like pines. There were also many palm trees, some of the good kind, some of the bad. Thereabouts are many neighboring islands. Hence, we called them the St. Lazarus Archipelago because we stayed there on the day and feast of St. Lazarus.”

Historians have since described this part of Samar Island as the “eastern gateway to the Philippines.” The coast of the small province faces the Pacific Ocean and much of the land is rugged with the vast parts forested. The interior part is rough and hilly and covered with dense tropical vegetation but drained by numerous rivers and creeks. Mountain ranges and peaks abound in an interior. Narrow plains hug most of the coastal areas and, in some instances, the banks of its principal rivers and their tributaries.

Geography
The province occupies a total land area of 4,470.75 sq. km. It is bounded on the north by Northern Samar, on the east by the Philippine Sea, on the west by Western Samar, and on the south by the Leyte Gulf.

Political Subdivision
The province is composed of 23 towns. Capital is Borongan.

Population
As of the 1995 census, the provincial population was 58,285.

Languages/Dialects
Waray-waray is the major dialect spoken in the province.

Daily Reading & Meditation

Monday (7/3): "Unless I see in his hands the prints of the nails, I will not believe"

Scripture: John 20:24-29

24 Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe." 26 Eight days later, his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. The doors were shut, but Jesus came and stood among them, and said, "Peace be with you." 27 Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing." 28 Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" 29 Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

Meditation: What gives us unshakeable hope and confidence in the face of death and defeat? The apostles abandoned Jesus in his hour of trial and lost hope when Jesus was handed over to the Romans for execution. They saw the cross as defeat rather than victory. They were slow to believe the reports of the resurrection until the Risen Lord appeared to them and reassured them of his presence and love. The last apostle to meet the resurrected Lord was the first to go with him to Jerusalem at Passover time. The apostle Thomas was a natural pessimist. When Jesus proposed that they visit Lazarus after receiving news of his illness, Thomas said to the disciples: "Let us also go, that we may die with him" (John 11:16). While Thomas deeply loved the Lord, he lacked the courage to stand with Jesus in his passion and crucifixion. After Jesus' death, Thomas made the mistake of withdrawing from the other apostles. He sought loneliness rather than fellowship in his time of adversity. He doubted the women who saw the resurrected Jesus and he doubted his own fellow apostles. When Thomas finally had the courage to rejoin the other apostles, the Lord Jesus made his presence known to him and reassured him that he had indeed overcome death and risen again. When Thomas recognized his Master, he believed and exclaimed that Jesus was truly Lord and truly God! Through the gift of faith we, too, proclaim that Jesus is our personal Lord and our God. He died and rose that we, too, might have new life in him. The Lord offers each of us new life in his Holy Spirit that we may know him personally and walk in this new way of life through the power of his resurrection. Do you believe in God's word and the power of the Holy Spirit?

"Lord Jesus Christ, through your victory over sin and death you have overcome all the powers of darkness. Help me to draw near to you and to trust in your life-giving word. Fill me with your Holy Spirit and strengthen my faith in your promises and my hope in the power of your resurrection."

JULY 3
ST. THOMAS

Thomas was one of the twelve apostles of Jesus. His name in the Syriac language means "twin." St. Thomas loved Jesus greatly, even though at first his belief was not very strong. Once when Jesus was going to face the danger of being killed, the other apostles tried to keep the Master back. St. Thomas said to them, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

When Jesus was captured by his enemies, Thomas lost his courage. He ran away with the other apostles. His heart was broken with sorrow at the death of his beloved Lord. Then on Easter Sunday, Jesus appeared to his apostles after he had risen from the dead. Thomas was not with them at the time. As soon as he arrived, the other apostles told him joyfully, "We have seen the Lord." They thought Thomas would be happy. Instead, he did not believe their message.

"Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails," he said, "and put my finger in the place of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Eight days later, Jesus appeared to his apostles again. This time, Thomas was there, too. Christ called him and told him to touch his hands and the wound in his side. Poor St. Thomas! He fell down at the Master's feet and cried out, "My Lord and my God!" Then Jesus said, "Because you have seen me, Thomas, you have believed. Blessed are they who have not seen, and yet have believed."

After Pentecost, Thomas was strong and firm in his belief and trust in Jesus. It is said that he went to India to preach the Gospel. He died a martyr there, after making many converts.