Welcome To My World!

JUNE 2
ST. MARCELLINUS

St. Marcellinus was mentioned in the First Eucharistic Prayer of the Mass. He was widely honored and prayed to by the early Christians. The feast of St. Marcellinus was included in the Roman calendar of saints by Pope Vigilius in 555.

Marcellinus was a priest and he was brave in the practice of his Christian faith. He served the Christian community with great self-sacrifice. During the persecution of Diocletian, many Christians were killed. St. Marcellinus was among them. They were beheaded. It seems that before they died, however, they were forced to dig their own graves. They were taken to a hidden location to perform their difficult task. It was a forest called the Silva Nigra.

Some time later, their graves were discovered in that remote spot. Their executioner eventually repented of the killings and became a Christian. He led devout Christians to the remains, which were then buried in the catacomb of St. Tiberius.

Pope Gregory IV sent the relics to Frankfurt, Germany, in 827. He believed that the relics of St. Marcellinus and other Christian martyrs would bring blessings to the Church in that nation.

Laws Of The Natural Universe

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to urinate.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF PROBABILITY: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

LAW OF THE TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

VARIATION LAW: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Works every time!)

BATH THEOREM: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you're with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

MURPHY'S LAW OF LOCKERS: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

LAW OF DIRTY RUGS/CARPETS: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

LAW OF LOCATION: No matter where you go, there you are.

LAW OF LOGICAL ARGUMENT: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

BROWN'S LAW: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

OLIVER'S LAW: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

WILSON'S LAW: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

LAW OF REALITY: Murphy was an optimist.

Tips For Working Hard

Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

Use computers to look busy - Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal email, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

Messy desk - Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

Voice Mail - Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that the caller will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

Looking Impatient and Annoyed - According to George Costanza of 'Seinfeld', one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

Appear to Work Late - Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g.9:35pm, 7:05am, etc...) and during public holidays.

Creative Sighing for Effect - Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed

Stacking Strategy - It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc... Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

Build Vocabulary - Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

* MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

(Please click to enlarge the picture)

JUNE 1
ST. JUSTIN

St. Justin was from Samaria. He lived in the second century. His father brought him up without any belief in God. When he was a boy, Justin read poetry, history and science. As he grew up, he kept on studying. His main purpose for studying was to find the truth about God.

One day as he was walking along the shore of the sea, Justin met an old man. They began to talk together. Since Justin looked troubled, the man asked him what was on his mind. Justin answered that he was unhappy because he had not found anything certain about God in all the books he had read. The old man told him about Jesus, the Savior. He encouraged Justin to pray so that he would be able to understand the truth about God.

St. Justin began to pray and to read the Word of God, the Bible. He grew to love it very much. He was also impressed to see how brave the Christians were who were dying for their belief in and love for Jesus. After learning more about the Christian religion, Justin became a Christian. Then he used his great knowledge to explain and defend the faith with many writings.

It was in Rome that St. Justin was arrested for being a Christian. The judge asked him, "Do you think that by dying you will enter heaven and be rewarded?" "I don't just think so," the saint answered. "I am sure of it!" And he died a martyr around the year 166."